Friday, September 25, 2009

Don't Read if U don't want to laugh!

1. Statutory Warning: For recreational use only.
2. Jokes can be hazardous to health. Laugh Sparingly.
3. No one under 18 admitted.
4. No Solicitors.
5. No parking.
6. Trespassers will be prosecuted.
7. Outside food not allowed.
8. For a limited time only.
9. Conditions apply.
10. Employees and their family are not eligible.
11. Not for the weak hearted.
12. May be too intense for some viewers.
13. Edited for public viewing.
14. As seen on TV.
15. No animals were harmed in the making of this film.
16. Objects in the screen are closer than they appear.
17. Stunts have been performed by trained professionals. Do not try them at home.
18. May be hazardous to your health.
19. All models are over 18 years of age.
20. Quantities are limited.
21. Quality may vary.
22. Sealed for your protection.
23. Subject to change without notice.
24. Breaking seal voids warranty.
25. Offer is subject to market risks.
26. Please read offer document carefully before investing.
27. Accessories shown here may not be part of standard equipment.
28. No warranties expressed or implied.
29. Available in fine stores everywhere.
30. Please book early to avoid rush.
31. Substantial penalties for early withdrawal.
32. Promotional pack, not for resale.
33. Tender exact change.
34. Allow four to six weeks for delivery.
35. No substitutions.
36. Other restrictions may apply.
37. Contents under pressure.
38. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Celsius.
39. Keep away from direct sunlight.
40. Avoid extreme temperature.
41. Store in a cool dry place.
42. Refrigerate after opening.
43. One size fits all.
44. No hand signal.
45. Hand washes only.
46. No salt, MSG, or artificial color added.
47. Artificial preservatives added.
48. Keep away from open flame.
49. Do not place near any magnetic source.
50. Avoid contact with eyes.
51. Wash, rinse, repeat.
52. Slippery when wet.
53. No Standing.
54. No Spitting.
55. Tested in laboratory.
56. Patent pending.
57. Shake well before use.
58. Apply only to affected area.
59. For external use only.
60. If ingested, do not induce vomiting.
61. User assumes all liabilities.
62. Not liable for damages due to misuse.
63. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult your physician.
64. Think of the environment before printing this post.
65. This post solely reflects my personal thoughts and opinions. It does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of my dogs, my professors, my mobile, my college, my bed, my laptop and my kids (i.e. when I’ll have one).
66. Copyright © TNMG 2009. No rights reserved.


Anonymous said...

I am surprised. How many things does the mirror say?
Here, it says the true... I know... Hehehehehe

Success, friend!

Ahsan said...

so much

C said...

Hey, thank you for the jokes... :)

lawmacs said...

So true the mirror never lie

Susmi Edalath said...

ROFL! That was funny!!!

Fatima Da aka Fatibony said...

Well put together ... fun & fun ...thanks for sharing

So I say said...

Sarcastic! and Fantastic..

REYAH said...

hahaha funny...

Mac Callister said...

hehe :-)

Chandrama said...

I was actually thinking where have I read all this while reading your post. Its the first time these lines sounded so funny...otherwise they always worried me! Great thought man :)

Juandy said...

I wish I had that mustache...

Hahaha :)

Ann Martin Photography BLOG said...

I'm SO glad you made sure to let us know your dogs may not share your opinions. The peer pressure at the dog park might be too much for them!

Saras said...

Really humorous. Had a hearty laugh! Thanks

Anonymous said...

They say brevity is the soul of wit. how true!

Mohammed Ibrahim (Admin) said...

gud post...well written and informative and a good approach...happy blogging and all the best

By the way:
hi.........i'm a 15 year old blogger.....currently taking part in the "My Demand" contest......
please read my post n support me by voting if u find it interesting....

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Vineet Rajan said...

Hi Angshu, How you doing? After a very long time IndiBlogger is coming back to our favorite city Kolkata. Its been 2 years since IndiBloggers last meet. We hope to meet you there.Did you sign up for Kolkata IndiBlogger Meet If you haven't already, do sign up today, Only 200 seats available. Entry is free with loads of fun. Cheers,
IndiBlogger Team


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